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Spank with hairbrush

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If the count gets to five, and he still is not in position, she will double the number of spanks with the hairbrush. When she spanks, she usually starts with her hand, but finishes with the brush giving one stroke for each year of his age.

Non-cooperation means the hairbrush strokes automatically go from sixteen to thirty-two. After the first time that happened, Mark has never let the count get to five again.

At his age, and being male, he likes to push me, but he is smart enough not to push too far. What set off this session?

Stevens, his algebra teacher. Seems he has not been turning in his homework, and when she sent a note home, he forged my signature and took it back to her the next day.

Stevens saw through it and called me. Mark gets into a lot less trouble than I did when I was his age. My mother used time-outs for discipline and punishment.

Not nearly the disincentive that hard maple applied to a bare bottom would have been. She was still sitting on the kitchen chair turned out into the room, still holding her heavy wooden hairbrush.

Her legs in tight blue jeans were crossed, one foot swinging. Sometimes I wish she had been more like you when I was growing up.

It might have saved me a lot of trouble in later years. A long silence followed this exchange, with Lorie looking at me, waiting for me to say something more.

I was standing there, feeling awkward, and casting about in my mind for a suitable exit line. What I wanted was to go change out of my work clothes and sit down with the news on cable until dinner was ready.

Sorry I made such a big deal about it. Sometimes I get too wound up in the argument and stop considering the facts involved.

Bad habit. I stopped and turned back. Yeah, you may be right. That future martini was evolving in my plans from a double to a triple… with three olives.

Will I piss her off if I leave now? I knew what she meant. I mean with that hairbrush and her serious expression, there was not a doubt in my mind what she meant.

No one has ever spanked me, and Lorie never indicated the slightest interest in taking on the job.

Do husbands and wives actually do that sort of thing? Are you happy living in a home with constant bickering? Do you think this environment is good for Mark or me?

You agreed that my methods are working well with Mark. Or, are you afraid to face the consequences for bad behavior? Perhaps if she had used more effective techniques, it would not still be an issue.

So, what do you say, sport? Shall we give it a shot? If it works, things will go a lot smoother around here for the whole family. One thing I did know, was I did not want this to turn into another one of our arguments.

He usually has his headset on listening to music when he does his homework, so if we take this discussion to the basement rec room, there is no chance he will hear us.

I stood there for a moment, trying to figure out what just happened, and failed. So, I headed for the stairs to the basement.

From what I know of the subject, she is the one who will do all the work. When I got down to the rec room, I was at a complete loss what to do next.

This idea seemed less and less good all the time. Many of the things that cause pain in kids are no big deal for adults, especially men.

If we did this, would Lorie tell anybody? You agreed that a good spanking was necessary to help you with your bad habits. Might as well get it over with.

After all, there were numerous cases brought to court in which a husband asked for permission to spank a wife for some sort of misbehavior.

For example, in , a husband went before a Brooklyn magistrate and asked if he could spank his wife if she interfered with his spanking of their child.

The magistrate decided that spanking the wife was the way to handle the situation. Again, in , a New York judge rules that a husband could legally spank his wife if she refused to kiss him.

However, spanking did not always go as planned. In a Chicago man took a strap and spanked his sixteen-year-old wife with it.

He was taken before the judge, declared that it was a free country and that he had a right to spank his wife, and was given days in jail.

In fact, back in a New York City newspaper ran a series of letters from wives who regularly spanked their wayward husbands. In turn, the husbands wrote back, complaining of the trend:.

A spanking at night is bad enough, but to start the day with one is simply indescribable. In , a Cleveland judge decided it was okay for a father to spank his daughter, age twenty-five, with a shingle, of all things.

In Chicago, , twenty-one-year-old Mary McDermott mouthed off to a policeman and was arrested. Mary yelled so loudly from the assault that neighbors called the police who refused to interfere because the matter was ordered by a judge.

While we may all have our own opinions about spanking children, there does come a time when you have to let your children lead their own lives.

Whenever I see, or even here the word: hairbrush— I become aroused. And, on the other side, I bet John had issues about running around with a feminine implement.

Once again: Thanks! Thinking about it, I suppose that Wayne chasing Maureen with a hairbrush, during that extended sequence, would have left the audience in no doubt what the finale would be.

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Which famous movie spanking does this drawing represent? Husbands used it to spank their wives. One woman who could testify to that was New York nightclub hostess Marcia Estardus.

Share this: Twitter Facebook. Like this: Like Loading And a child is clearly left to themself during a time-out. With that verse in mind I also realized isolating your kids as a punishment is wrong, and the only time a time out is okay is when they are out of control and need to calm down.

In that case it would be them sitting quietly and really having so real reflection on how they were acting. But if your child is disobeying you then you should discipline, which illustrated in the Bible is physical.

However, the reason I disagree with spanking is because the Bible is in modern words saying time outs are wrong in cases of disobedience and straight out discipline is better.

So I believe the Bible is not saying physical discipline is better than non physical discipline, but rather discipline is better than isolation the example of beating is again used so people in Bible times could relate because that was when it was wrote.

So then which is right pysical or non pysical discipline and why? My stance is non physical. Not because the reason stated in my previous response that they are never cases were violence is tolerable, but because of the hypocrisy surrounding it.

I am only going to use the words hypocritical and hypocrisy in my attempt not to judge or offend anyone. So please anyone reading this or responding to this whether you agree with my stance or not please do not call anyone who spanks a hypocrite because we are by no means at all God and we cannot judge others or think of them by one thing they do.

I also apologize for saying that if sounds like spankers sound like hypocrites. From this point on I will only use the words hypocritical and hypocrisy, please do the same.

Anyway, like I mentioned in my earlier response if your going to spank someone for not eating there vegetables it would only make sense that you would spank them for hitting each other.

Would you spank the one who hit for overstepping their balance and hitting because that would be extremely hypocritical because spanking is doing the same thing except you are the parent and you are stronger?

Or would you commend them? Because one, you do not even make her do it after she gets spanked. So you are giving her a choice either get spanked or clean up her toys.

Now the reason you spank your children is to prepare them for the real world, but in the real world if they were in debt with their house they would lose there house and still have to pay.

Also, why do you have to spank her to teach her a lesson? In addition some studies although I am not a scientist and did not conduct these studies to know if all variables were taken into account so if these are incorrect by you standards please do not accuse me of skewing the data or providing false information have shown negative effect on SOME children in SOME cases so there are some things to consider.

Lastly, I would like to end by mentioning what the Golden Rule is. The Golden Rule is; treat others as you would like to be treated.

It is not; treat others as you have been treated or treat others the way they have treated you. Not sure if anyone is still responding to these comments or not, if so I have a question for Hal or the others that agree in spanking.

I have a 3 year old girl who is kinda wise beyond her years. Yet the most trouble I have is with her tantrums. I usually make her sit in time out until she can calm down.

Then I follow through with her speaking. I want my kids to connect wrong behavior with pain because that is reality. My kids drop tantrums real quick once I mention the wooden spoon.

I agree with Hal. He also used a spoon. Spanking a newborn? Come on that is abuse! Now, I know, that would be rediculous!!! But when you think about it, it is the same as spanking a newborn.

Michael Pearl has rebuked and physically punished his children in the womb. The smaller the better, apparently.

I work at a Behavioral Hospital with children and adolescents and I can definately tell who was disciplined growing up. A lot of the teenagers are rude and disrespectful to their parents.

I tell them that I have a two year old daughter and she will never grow up speaking to me that way because I will discipline her. I tell them that I spank my daughter.

Many of the kids are quick to tell me that spanking is abuse. And I am quick to tell them that I do not believe that.

A lot of kids act the way that they do because they manipulate their parents into thinking that spanking is abuse.

That excuse will never work in my household. However, I also believe that discipline has to start at an early age. You cannot try to spank a thirteen year old for the first time and expect that to work.

The same goes for a five or six year old. I was spanked as a young child. I would much rather discipline my child now than to see her grow up and get into trouble with the law later.

My daughter is very smart and I know that she is aware of the difference between right and wrong. I am raising her to be a respectful young lady, not an unruly teenager.

So I will continue to rely on spanking as a form of discipline dispite the opinions of others. They are not raising my child, I am.

Liz, you are quite welcome. It has made a great difference in their behaviors. Hi Hal — our 3yo daughter is very stubborn.

Or is that too harsh for a 3yo? I was spanked that way and I remember it made a bigger impression on me when I was naked.

You should be able to giver swats with the belt and only cause redness. She should be naked so you can judge when to stop.

She got very scared when we took her panties off and the was quite surprised at how much more the belt hurt on her bare bottom.

Wow a belt on a three year old. Stop hiding behind the bible as an excuse for poor lazy parenting. You people are not religious just sick freaks.

Hello I am karen mom with four girls ages 4,6,9 and 14 I am a strict pro spanking mom I would like to chat with you and I can help give you some spanking ideas if you still spank her lets chat Karen.

Hi Sandra I see your date was 3 years ago is she still haveing discipline issues I would love to chat I have a 6 year old daughter as well I have some great ideas you would love lets chat karen.

Whenever I have children, I feel the sane way. I will will normally do for the minimum and for the maximum depending on what they did to get a spanking.

Something a child does something wrong that they might need a whipping up There are alternatives to spankings or paddlings as well.

I have heard that many parents have irritated their children and were abusive for is wrong. That is abuse. Would you whip an animal like that?

You probably would. Shame on you. Whipping a 3 year old, naked, 20 times with a belt. I have a three year old. She is precious and would never deliberately hit anyone.

Jesus said we should be more like them. This treatment is unforgivable. And naked? This is an amazing article. Thank you for sharing this information.

I really wish I had that much time to waste in my life lol. I have a follow up question to the article: At what age do you recommend we start spanking.

And also how should we discipline children before that age? Thank you again. Hi, thanks for the kind words.

I would say you should start spanking as soon as you know that they can relate what they did with the spanking. Spankings should be for when a child knows better but does wrong anyway.

The exception would be if they do something dangerous. Hope that helps. My four year old got the very first spanking of her life today.

She got her age across her bottom with a ruler because she would not come inside when I told her too, repeatedly. God is right, not the doctors, and she needed her bottom spanked… desperately.

That you so much. Thanks for the great feedback, Molly. Even though this post is old, it gets bunches of hits every day. Seems like it is a topic that everyone is dealing with.

God bless! Hey I realize that this post is very old however, I read the blog and the comments and I am debating on whether or not I should begin spanking my youngest daughter who is currently 24 months old.

She is very little and has a skin disorder that causes her skin to be much more sensitive than others.

Hi Emily, if you can spank her without causing any medical issue then I would say yes. One little swat will do the trick a lot of times.

See if you can find a doctor that will give you honest advice about it. God bless. Hi emily I would wait until she is about 3 years old then she can follow you better when discipling.

How do you feel about continuing timeouts wuth her? Like i said, there have been times where tumeout has been successful.

It just doesnt happen that often. I have a 1. My husband just freaked out and left a few days ago and since then things have been crazy with her behavior.

At what age did you start spanking your kids? Just asking. I pray things work out for you guys. The most important thing is for her to understand that the spanking is related to the act, so do it right away.

Just enough to sting a bit and get her attention. Really dude? An 18 month old is not going to understand why she is suddenly experiencing this pain.

The mom is stressed. You should know that is the worst time to start spanking. Do you not understand that a baby is a human too?

And they pick up on their environments? You are advocating abuse in this reply. But you have no way to communicate that you still need love and attention.

And then, suddenly, the only person left im your life who you can count on, the person who you need to survive, is hitting you? Please, please show some discernment here.

Please consider the potential that your advice could have on a small helpless human. You may have the best of intentions, but you need to bear in mind that not everyone has the foundation that you do.

Thank you! I have four. Oldest is 8, youngest is 2. I started as soon as they started reaching for the electrical outlet. As far as spanking on the bottom, i waited until I felt like I knew they would understand—As soon as I felt they were deliberately disobeying me.

Then they definitely get a spanking. Just one little wack to the bottom usually does the trick. I know nobody is perfect but I am trying to know when to spank and when not to spank.

Unfortunately, I was spanked a whole lot as a child. My dad maily was the one to spank me. He made me lie over my bed and he would spank me anywhere from times.

My kids listen pretty well and the older ones I might spank once a month, the younger ones maybe once a week. But it will be more at first.

Direct defiance always gets a spanking and hitting each other always gets a spanking happens very rarely. Once your child knows you mean business they will listen.

Show her lots of love all the time. Be tough, but do it in love. Some times her parents let her get by because without even bending her over their knee, they can see the regret in her eyes as the tears run down.

Kaitlyn never has an issue with not being regretful for what she did. I spend a lot of time with Kaitlyn and she is extremely smart, she just makes a lot of mistakes.

Are your kids like this too? Also, what is your process for spanking your children and somewhere in your blog you mention pulling their pants down do you spank over their underwear or spank on the bare bottom?

Ever since having a baby, I have been trying to figure out how to discipline her in an appropriate, effective way. Her behaviors kicked in when my husband left.

I hope you have a good church family. You need a close by spiritual family to help you through these times.

And then you just dropped her. She was a victim of abuse pleading with you to help her not continue the cycle with her own daughter. And you told her to spank her 1 year old, make sure it hurts, and you stopped responding to her.

If you would like any advice on spanking my email is foresthippie76 gmail. Hey, I know you may not have to be dealing with this yet, but when the time comes, would you ever spank your kids for failing grades?

The reason I ask is because my daughter just went into the fourth grade and is failing two subjects. I have tried grounding her, making her go to bed early, and taking away privelages but nothing is getting through to her.

In this scenario, if you were ever faced with the situation, what would you do? Hi Brad. It could be that she lacks confidence in those subjects and has given up.

Perhaps see if you can get all the home work assignments from the teacher and then sit down with her. I would spank for not doing homework. It is directly disobedience of me and her teacher.

I just wanted to say thank you for giving me courage through this tough time. Fortunately, while I was making Lunch yesterday,my husband walked through the door.

I immediately ran up and started hugging him and crying. He said he realized how much he needed his family. He asked me if he could see Allyssa our daughter.

I told him she was sleeping but then…the baby monitor went off. I went upstairs and got her. She was SO happy to see him.

Allyssa just wanted her dad. Our family reunited within a matter of minutes! This morning we took Allyssa to daycare and Matt said he wanted to go do something together.

We got to the doctor and we both left there in tears. I found out that I was 8 weeks pregnant! It really is a God thing how he came back the day before I found out I was pregnant.

Please remember this before spanking your kids. If they are missing one or more of their routines family, nap, food, kids are very comforted by boundaries and structure , expect some altered behavior and try to give a little grace.

When you, as an adult, lose a parent or loved one, it absolutely affects your moods. For a child, it is likely the worst day of their life so far.

Hi Skyler. Thanks for stopping by. I could choose to die, instead. Usually, now that the kids are older, I reward them as a surprise. I want to give you something.

As far as the spanking process, the general idea is that you want your children to understand that some things are not ok. Things that are not ok hurt.

They hurt others, they hurt yourself in the long run. Children are concrete thinkers and spanking is a concrete way for them to understand this concept.

Okay and you are right but a few more question for you and then afterwards, i will share with you my thoughts.

Like i said we all have different opinions and i respect yours but just remember your child could have a long term affect if they become frightened of getting spankings.

Also remember that if you spank them, all they think about is how much it hurts and not about why they were spanked.

When you are violent eith your kids they learn to be violent. Actually spankings do work. But you have to know your child as well as yourself.

If you spank the right way, then they will know that if they misbehave, they will be punished. Try it. I promise you, your kids will respect you and your authority.

My kids learned real quick that if they do wrong then they had better be expecting the consequences.

Your kids may be hurt physically, but it hurts you too. But, you need to show love to your child and hold them after the spanking is over.

And if they become violent after being spanked, explain to them the difference between hitting and punishment. I raised my daughter without spanking and she was valedictorian of high school and graduated from college Summa Cum Laude.

Never been in trouble a day in her life. Why does punishment have to be spanking? There are many other ways to teach right from wrong.

You can try to make yourself feel better by saying it is. Learn from their mistakes and stop hurting your kids. Yes, spankings do hurt but, if you spank the right way, they will learn.

I of course learned from the vivid beatings i still remember today because it was a harsh, harsh punishment. With my kids, I talk to them before the spanking and make sure they know why they are being punished.

They bend over my Knee, and they get 2 swats with a wooden spoon. They learn from the sting and they remember the next time they think about repeating that behavior.

Also, my kids learn that if they make a mistake, be honest. I respect your opinion. Not all kids validate spanking. My daughter iis an angel, very, very rarely will she get spanked.

My two year old has received several spankings for different reasons but he learns his lesson. Can you explain to her your thoughts? Lori has no authority to speak on this subject.

She has one child—a daughter. She also excels in all that she does. Children are different. Stick with the Word.

I did for sure. Hey, can you explain your spanking procedure how you do it because my way has not been working lately.

Can you tell me how you go about it, from reading your blog, it seems that your method is pretty effective. I have as much authority to speak on this as you do Hal.

Maybe you hsd to straighten her out by popping her with the spoon a time or two? I am a lot older and have a lot more life experience.

I was a single parent and managed to raise a great kid. Kids can learn right from wrong without being physically hurt.

Instead of I will pull down your pants and hit you so it hurts? The fact that you think that I would ever hit my wife helps me to understand your thought processes here.

Your thoughts of who and what I am and what is reality is a large chasm. Millions of people spank their kids. Spanking your kids is not against the law.

People have always spanked their kids and understood what was too much. Unfortunately, in our day, many people cross the line; and because of that, many people run to the ditch that you are in.

This blog is about getting out of both ditches. Society is out of control with disrespectful, undisciplined young people. I totally agree with you here.

My parents especially my father went too far. I strongly believe in bare bottom spankings because A. Your child feels the sting and they know that the misbehavior was wrong and C.

Lori, I love my kids, Hal loves his kids, we are both loving parents who only wants the best for their child and so spanking them will be a life long benefit.

Now please, stop accusing us of abusing our families. You know neither one of us, therefore you are being prejudice and you are using your word and your opinions in a hurtful and nasty way.

We are never going to agree. As we grow as a society it will become obsolete. Spanking is illegal in Sweden by the way and they have one of the lowest crime rates anywhere.

Spanking is legal in Singapore, and even adult males are spanked by the government! I hope my blog keeps people in the middle of the road.

Also, your logical fallacy was in claiming that Lori has no authority because she has a daughter. Something that clearly implies you ARE an authority as you have sons.

But when challenged on that, you deny having any authority. If you have zero authority, then why do you think you know better than Lori due to the fact that she has a daughter?

Lori, you are becoming a bit too harsh. Hal, has never spanked his wife. I understand that you raised a great kid and that is wonderful, i give you props for that.

Nobody forced you to read his Blog. I never accused Hal of abusing his kids or his wife. I also never said I would spank him.

I think you need to read what I said. I also think if you post a blog then you can expect to have people disagree with it.

As far as respect goes — you earn it. You might command fear but not respect. You need to grow up. Just because I disagree does not make me a bully.

Hal is perfectly capable of defending his opinions. Lori, you for real need to chill! And the bible says that you should respect others as well as yourself.

You need to just relax. I am sorry you and I cannot respectfully agree. Was it not harsh of Hal to claim that Lori has no authority on the matter, even though he himself has no authority either?

No child is the same. But the crazy ones are those who disregard discipline and allow their child to act a fool or imply their child as being perfect people who say that are liars because the only perfect one that ever lived is Jesus.

But thank you for turning your tone around and being respectful. I was not implying that you were crazy. I was stating there are other forms of discipline besides spanking.

Respect is earned. Maybe respecting someone older with more life experience is something to think about. I know people that had abusive childhoods and abused their own kids.

You should really think about that. There is mo reason you have to redden a childs behind. There is a fine line between discipline and abuse.

I just think there are other ways. Some of the other comments from other parents might reveal that. If you want to know how not to spank a child, check out this video.

Respect is absolutely earned. If you demand respect without giving it, you get obedience from fear. This is common knowledge, even among spankers.

Also, fyi, discipline and spanking are not synonymous. One can certainly discipline successfully without ever laying a hand on their children.

Hey Hal, I found this video for Lori. Beyond telling you to carry on spanking, he has responded to others, but effectively ignored almost all of your dialogue directed at him.

There actually is another subculture that is nearly identical to yours, and they are always happy to discuss the details of safety and effectiveness in discipline.

Look up spanking forums on fetlife. The only real difference between the two of you is the matter of consent. I do tend to appreciate the fact that they get to choose to have their body, emotions, and comfort violated, though.

And, Lori spankings DO work in the long run. When my daughter was in 2nd grade, she misbehaved in school for a whole week and refused to do any work.

Day 4, I told her she would start getting some serious consequences if she did not straighten up. She kicked and screamed and begged, but the key is to follow through.

I laid my hand on her back and lightly pressed down to keep her from trying to run away and continued spanking her.

Of course afterwards, I held her and kissed her but I told her she has got to straighten up. She is in 4th grade and since that spanking for misbehaving in school she got, not one time have i received a negative note from her teachers.

I stuck to my guns and she learned a quick and lifelong lesson. This is an excellent resource. I just had a baby, and pastor goodin is going to suggest I spank him?

Yeah right! Hal, my youngest daughter has been out of control lately. She hits, screams, talks back, etc. Are they hypocrites? They have authority from the government to lock people away because they broke the law.

In a similar way, you have God-given authority, as the parent of your child, to exercise proper discipline on your child when she does what is wrong.

Would it be ok for your child to put other children in time out? You can see that this line of reasoning fails. No, proper spanking is not the same as hitting.

I spank my children for hitting a whole lot quicker than anything else because we have zero tolerance for hitting in our household.

And guess what? Our kids pretty much never hit and are never violent. Proper spankings like I talk about in this blog is not abuse.

Have your husband read this blog. You guys need to be on the same page. Hey, kelsey is my wife and she wanted me to read this blog.

I was abused with wooden objects. Whats wrong with spanking open hand. Hi Spencer great name, btw! Have your wife wack you with her hand and then with a wooden spoon.

But I prefer a wooden spoon. As far as abuse, there are many people who abuse with the hands. People abuse with all kinds of things.

Someone could abuse with a banana for that matter. The definition of abuse is to use something wrongly. That can be a hand, a spoon, a belt, or whatever.

So when you spank, with whatever you choose to use, make sure you do it properly—in love. One or two swats on the rear-end is not abuse. Hal, Pastor Goodin has suggested that parents should go through the spanking process and then not spank them.

He calls this extending them grace. Also many people believe that proper spanking does not have to be on the bare bottom. What are your thoughts? I want my words to mean something.

Go with your instincts. If you were abused by spanking, you need to be hyper aware that any spanking you give not cross into the abuse territory.

Think about the abuse you suffered, and how your child will be feeling about the discipline you give him. There are so many tools for parents to use.

Jesus never spanked a child, his teachings about children were all love and nurture and understanding. If he wanted people to spank, he surely would have taught it.

The new testament is what you should study, his example is what you should try to achieve. He said children were the purest of all, that we should try to be like them in some ways.

Would your child ever give a spanking without being taught what it was? Children happen to have a lot of kindness and gentleness.

They struggle with emotions in the heat of the moment, but you know you should never snap and hit your kid.

Would they come up with a plan to make someone di what they want by pulling down their pants and hitting them repeatedly with an object until you cried?

None of the kids I know would. Hi Hal, My name is Brittney and reading this blog has given me some advice on how to discipline properly, however within some areas, I am struggling.

I am currently 23 weeks pregnant and counting. My husband Austin and I have been so excited to have another baby. Unfortunately there are some safety concerns that need to be taken care of before I am due.

My 9 year old daughter Amelia has basically lost self control which is not like her at all. She has become violent, she has gone after my stomach many times and there have been several occasions where I have literally had to hold her away from by her hands while she is kicking and screaming.

By then I have given up and Amelia is in her room throwing tantrums and I am laying in bed in tears. Pregnancy has always been an emotional experience for me but it seems like this time around is a little more difficult.

I have absolutely no idea why her behaviors have escalated so negatively. I think it might have something to do with her not being used to me being able to play with her.

I am a little afraid to discipline her but at the same time, her behaviors have got to stop. Can you please help us out.

Thanks for the amazing articles that you write. We read them quite often. You are greatly appreciated, thank you! Hi Brittany, it sounds like Amelia has learned that she can take advantage of you.

My kids try to pull that with my wife sometimes. Kids are strong and my wife is small. If we have an episode, my wife tells them that they can either let her give them a spanking or they can wait until daddy gets home.

Usually they will choose a spankings from my wife and shape up. I would recommend you do the same. I would recommend you guys sit down with her ahead of time and explain all of this first.

Reassure your love for her, but also explain that that kind of behavior is totally inexcusable. She may not be happy that a new child is coming along.

Let her know that. We think he may be getting 3 days off when I give birth to our new baby. Therefore, I will have to take care of the baby and watch her at the same time.

Is it really worth the fight? I have had to call my husband to come and get us because picking her up and carrying her throwing her tantrums the way she does, is a risk for the baby.

Also, you recommended letting my husband give her spanking in the morning. Ultimately, here are my questions… 1. How do you deal with misbehavior in public?

The best way, in my opinion, is for your husband to help you really lay down the law. Be consistent, and you guys should only have to spank her a few times.

My husband is military, he would hate to have to discipline constantly when he barely ever sees his kids. That would also destroy his relationship with his children.

Imagine if your very best friend suddenly got a new friend and was spending a huge amount of time with them and not you.

How would you handle that? It has to stop. When I had my second, I spent hours a day planning with my daughter.

When baby first came home, she was heavily involved with his care and was wonderful. We got through it by discussing heart to heart how much we missed one another and found small ways to reconnect.

It was a short phase. Good luck. Hi Hal, this is an amazing post. Even though this post is old, I refer to it quite often! I just have a few questions.

First, how important is privacy when giving a spanking? Secondly, what position do you put the child in? And lastly,what is your process after the spanking is over?

Hi Liam, I usually go to another room, especially for the older kids. No reason to embarrass them. I think embarrassment is a cruel form of punishmemt for kids.

I was embarrassed once by a teacher and it hurt me deep. I just make it my purpose to show them and tell them I love them all the time.

I have to deal with misbehaviors at church and in stores. My daughter has done that several times. Yeah, my kids have done that.

All kids do that. I hate doing it, but I do it. Well, my daughter acted out again tonight and I followed through with what you said.

I wish you could have heard her. She walked closer to me just enough to see the spoon in my hand. She started crying and running.

I chased after a little bit and then I told her that she can either take the spanking now from me, or I will text daddy and he will give you a spanking.

But right after I did that and he responded telling me to tell her she was getting his spankings, she started begging me to spank her instead.

Should I, or is she too late to take the spanking from me? Her daycare teachers have reported some defiance, but they say that she usually pulls herself together.

On several occasions when I have gone to pick her up, she was in the timeout square. Her main behavioral problems that we deal with are tantrums.

We usually put her down to bed after 10 minutes of trying to get her to calm down which makes matters worse. After about minutes I will go lay down with her for a bit but she always wants me to sleep with her.

We are open to any advice, thank you! Consider quitting your job. Can you downsize and get by on one income?

Daycare is expensive. Maybe you can do the math and make it work. Try using the methods I set forth in this blog. As far as bed time, what I did for my kids was after spending time with them reading, etc, I told them it was time to go to sleep.

If they cried, I just ignored them. I only had to do it a few times. Give her a cup of water and let her scream. I did this with all of my kids.

Make the best of it. But if you can change it, it would ideal. Just my thoughts. Okay, thanks for the great feedback! BTW, my cousin has an autistic daughter who will be 5 in October, she wanted to know if spanking her would be an appropriate form of discipline because she is a single parent got pregnant when she was 15 the father turned out to be a complete jerk and left them both at the hospital with no money, and no car.

She called me crying and in pain and asked me to come to the hospital, of course I did. Ever since then, I have basically helped raise Peyton her daughter.

Thanks for helping her. The only thing I can suggest is that she seek professional help. I know she pretty much told you my story but I thank you for your help.

Being 20 years old and raising an autistic child without a father is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Do you think that I should tell my parents?

Hi Trina, being reconciled with your parents would be the ideal situation. Ask for an appointment with the pastor and his wife.

They should be more than happy to help. Thank you so much!!! I will hel her out, my church is amazing and our pastor and his wife and super incerdible people.

Thanks again. My 3 year old son is driving me insane. What are you using to spank him? I would give my kids a cup of water and tell them not to get out of bed.

I have used a wooden spoon a few times, my wife uses her hand. She often gives in to him and will let him get out of bed, come downstairs, and watch TV for a little while longer.

My mom and dad stopped spanking me at some point in my childhood. It was a bad idea— I needed it! In my humble opinion, your son is not going to shape up unless you give him some meaningful spankings.

But you and your wife need to be on the same page. Hands are padded and blunt. You have to hit really hard to make it meaningful. A spoon, or small stick, however, stinks with a flick of the wrist.

Much more effective and less harsh than the hand. Besides, with my kids, the wooden spoon is the bad guy. I do it depending on the severity of the situation either over the underwear or on the bare bottom.

I think she feels like I am abusing him. She swoops in and snatches him up? You guys need to have a serious chat!

Is she the only one that loves your son? Does she have the final say on what happens in your house? God has put you as head of household, but to me it sounds like she runs the show.

She makes you the bad guy and herself the good guy. Because the rod is the right and proper and effective way to discipline your children.

Sit down with your wife and talk about them. Ask her to read this blog. Pray together. Imagine coming home abs spending a few hours with loved ones, and being shut in a dark room.

No wonder he does better at daycare. I feel bad for your wife, too, to be honest. He pulled this page up on my phone and while reading it, a few things popped in my mind.

First things things first, is spanking really necessary? Is spanking the bare bottom necessary? Why do children have to feel pain in order to learn?

Does that mean I hate him?

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